“No” means No: What to do when your toddler says NO to everything

It may seem that, overnight, your sweet helplessly cute infant is now a toddler, and has not only learned to walk but also learned that his favorite word is “NO!”

“NO!” to brushing his teeth.

“NO!” to taking another bite of his lunch.

“NO!” to picking up that toy he threw across the room.

“NO!” to going to bed.

The valiant “No’s” will follow you throughout your day with your toddler, and you’re finding yourself having to be assertive to get through the day.

This can be a challenging time for parents. You may find that redirecting is not so easy anymore at this age, and your toddler is screaming at you with the two-letter word.

How to Honor Your Toddler’s NO

From a holistic parenting approach, we encourage parents to honor this special time when your child begins to learn the concept of “Me vs. Them.” The oppositional “no’s” are a sign of their own desires and opinions separate from yours. It is a necessary and important step to the development of your child.

Instead of aiming to assert control of the matter, try connecting with your child. We do this by validating their feelings.

“Yes, I know you don’t want to brush your teeth right now.”

“Yes, I know you don’t want to eat more.”

“Yes, I know you don’t want to pick up the toy.”

“Yes, I know honey, you don’t want to go to bed right now.”

A simple acknowledgment is the biggest reassurance you can give your toddler that you get him, you see him, and you get it. This gesture tells your child that their feelings and opinions matter, and that it’s ok to feel that way. This gesture alone will help even the most high-strung toddler to feel a little bit more understood and loved.

Use your Toddler’s NO to Build a Connection

So celebrate your child’s little “No’s.” This is the time and place to learn who they are and how they feel about certain things. Use it as an opportunity to build connection, so instead of restricting, try being patient and setting boundaries that help them understand what is appropriate vs what is not.