Five Surprising Things about Motherhood

If you are expecting or know someone who is expecting for the first time, you may find this helpful. I’ll be sharing the 5 most life-changing things I personally discovered from motherhood that profoundly changed the way I viewed life and parenthood.

Hi everyone, I am Dr. Eileen Shi, a board-certified holistic pediatrician who works with thousands of parents like you who want natural and holistic remedies to solve their children’s health issues by addressing the root of the problem.

I have been a pediatrician for over 15 years before I became a mother myself. So literally every day, I give advice and counsel new parents on raising a healthy child. I thought that, when I had my own child, I was prepared for anything. BUT I was in for a surprise!

These were the 5 most life-changing things I personally discovered about motherhood that changed the way I view motherhood and motherhood. It is my hope that you will find yourself not alone in this journey, especially in facing profound changes in your life.

 1. You always need more sleep

This may sound cliche, but as someone who’s never had a hard time getting good rest at night; I was shocked at how tired I was all the time. Before baby, I fell asleep the minute I hit my pillow. After the baby, I found that sleep time was always interrupted with awakenings to feed the baby, to pump breast milk, to soothe a crying baby, and many other things you have to do as a new parent. 

Even when I went to bed earlier than usual, I still felt tired day after day. It took me a while to realize how having interrupted sleep really affected my sleep cycles.

So how do you plan for it? 

• Divide up sleep time responsibilities, some parents take different shifts in the night to take care of the baby, some get more help during the day to allow them time to rest or nap. 
• Giving yourself little chunks of time to sleep uninterrupted will allow for a more restful recovery. Your sleep will improve as the baby grows; but you will likely need more sleep as a new parent. 

This is why my number one recommendation for new moms is: when the baby sleeps you sleep too. Avoid the urge to do tasks during the baby’s nap time.

2. Breastfeeding is a huge commitment

You know, breastfeeding is championed as natural and healthy, so… shouldn’t it be easy too? I mean, shouldn’t every baby just latch on his own and aren’t all moms made for breastfeeding? It is easy for us to think that breastfeeding is natural and easy for everyone.

But honestly, when it comes to feeding the baby, breastfeeding may work for some, but not always for everyone.

Here’s what I want you to get: If you’re not breastfeeding, you’re NOT a terrible mother. 

It just means that breastfeeding may not be the best choice for you and the baby . If you are having difficulty with breastfeeding, get help from an expert, like a lactation consultant early on in the first weeks of life. This will help you establish a routine that works and boost your confidence that you can breastfeed your baby.

IF you decide that breastfeeding isn’t for you, for whatever reason, that is totally fine too! No guilt and no fuss.

Formulas have come a long way, and we have more quality options for baby formulas on the market now to help our baby grow and thrive. Whether you’re breastfeeding, pumping or using formula, you’re doing a great job!

Feeding your baby is much more than what is given, it is more about how you get to spend that time bonding with your baby.

3. You need your friends even more

When life gets hard, we need support and we need our friends more than ever. Having a newborn with erratic sleep schedules and having your hormones out of whack will definitely stir up things in your life a little bit. It is easy for new moms to say, it’s ok, I got it all handled, but hear me when I say this, you can use more help and please let others help you. 

Oftentimes people think, new moms just need to be with their babies. While that is true, new moms also need their friends too, even more than before. Because this can also feel like an overwhelming and isolating time in your life. If you just had a baby, try vocalizing what you need help with, that is the first step. And remember, your friends and family are all in it together with you.

And if you have a friend who is a new mom, you can start by just calling and checking on her. Maybe go over and bring some food, or help her fold the laundry. Seriously, no one is particularly used to asking for this kind of help, but you would be surprised at how little free time you get when there’s a newborn in the house. We can learn to lean on our friends and families, especially in the post-partum time after having your baby.

4. Every baby is different, one solution doesn’t fit all 

I have literally taken care of hundreds of thousands of babies in my career as a pediatrician, and I can attest to the fact that every baby is different. There is no one solution for all. I find that when you are expecting or are taking care of a newborn, everyone has an opinion about what you need to do for the baby. They are well-meaning, but don’t let that stress you out. 

As a new mom, you will likely be the person most in tune with your own baby. If you sense that something isn’t quite right, you can ask, search for answers on the internet, but ALSO chat with your pediatrician. Oftentimes, the answer will become clear and do not feel bad if one way does not work, try something else. Every child is different and they need their caregivers to attend to their specific needs.

5. You are going to change, your priorities will change, the way you see the world will change. 

This is the biggest surprise, and that is why I saved it for last. Having a baby changed me as a person. And for most new moms, having a newborn baby is life changing and the baby does a good job bringing about those changes. You may feel prepared, or ill-prepared, but when the baby is here, just know that you are the best person for your baby. 

Follow your heart and lean into this new chapter. I found many internal changes in me when my daughter was born, and she continued to change me. She teaches me to be patient, to be more open-minded, to be more child-like and present in the day to day.

And with that, I hope you find the courage and peace to be the parent that you will be for your baby.